I am a Survivor

I am a Survivor

Fuck this shit.  I swear I’m done.
I’m tired.  I’m pissed.  Life’s supposed to have fun.
Seriously, “God,” what the hell is up?
You keep expecting me to go on- but once again I’m fucked.

20 years now- trying to find the place
But I can’t gain any ground with all this shit coming at my face.
“I am a Survivor”, God, I hate those words.
They define me and confine me and it’s what I’ve always heard.

I just want… just want to be ME
But it seems a survivor is all I’ll ever be.

Cancer is a bend in the river…

Cancer is a bend in the river
Once I might drown in
Life flows from me again
Once again my body betrays me
Hard to find a reason…
Maybe time to move on…
…Love finds a way.

Current mood:


Please Ask your Rapist

Source: Please Ask your Rapist

Stoma Friendly Toilets

Colitis To Ostomy

So I feel quite bad I’ve had these stickers from theColostomy Associationfor awhile now and I completely forgot to write about them can we blame baby brain?!

View original post 290 more words

Shared from WordPress

Happy Birthday, Misha! – http://wp.me/pHXAJ-2iw

I admit, I started watching Supernatural purely for the Jensen Ackles fix, and of course, fell head over heels for the whole show.   I try not to fangirl too much, and while I still think Jensen (and just about the whole cast) is amazing… if I could choose to have lunch with anyone in the world, it would probably be Misha Collins.  He seems to have the most fascinating background… and before Random Acts (randomacts.org) when he did his first charity run, I could tell how much he truly cared about making a difference in this world and instead of being a typical celebrity just enjoying the fan worship he realized he could harness that “power” and use it to bring good things to the world. 

I feel like he’s always tried to give back to his fans even more than he feels we’ve given him.  He’s one of those rare people who got some fame and actually deserved it.

Next year I’m hoping to do gishwhs (can you believe that was one of the few words this new phone didn’t try to replace or spellchecker? HA! ).  I can’t wait.

Happy birthday, Misha!


My brother just shared this song with me.  Really really just perfect.  Thanks little bro ❤



I was an empty canvas, I had finally started to paint.

At long last I’d found courage to take up the task,

And I did slowly learn to create.

Bit by bit, I shed the scales of fear, but I had only just begun.

A toe, just tipped in the water, years of hiding to be undone.

I might have been so beautiful, but you broke into my place.

And I never can stop asking “what else might have been built within my space?”

And so, a toe pulled back, hiding  again in fear.

Burrowing ever so deeper to find some safety, even still, after all these years.

And yes, I am enraged when I let my fear be known

How else should I expect to feel, when my life has never been my own?

You held a fragile piece of what just might have been,

And with a mighty force you shattered it, brought the creation to an end.

And so I stand here, a painting I cannot complete.

At times I want to take up the brush, but my will’s become so weak.


… A brush here, a dab there… still I paint the best I can…

With hope one day this painting can still reveal exactly who I am.

Shared from Refractory Ramblings from the Darkside


Shared from the liminal life of m

I just really liked this.   And i really like her blog.  You should check it out.

God Doesn’t Go to Church – http://wp.me/pnvsY-NP

and that’s what I got

A story, in two songs.

Hear me…

… or not.

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